LOVE AND GELATO, by Jenna Evans Welch

The story: When her mother dies, Lina is sent to Italy to meet the father she's never known. Little does she realize she'll meet far more than that--there's also the hottest guy she's ever seen, a really creepy Italian photographer, and the sweet soccer player who lives in a gingerbread house. Italy really IS full of magical surprises!

June Cleaver's ratings: Language PG; Violence G; Sexual content PG; Nudity G; Substance abuse PG-13; Magic & the occult G; GLBT content G; Adult themes (children born out of wedlock, death of a parent) PG; overall rating PG.

Liz's comments: Aside from the book-length premise of her mother's affair with a secret lover that led to her birth, there is little to object to here. Lina's attraction to Thomas is always kind of anemic, and any girl with half a brain would know what it takes Lina half the book to discover--that she's falling for Ren. But that's okay! The two go on to solve the not very deep mystery of who's her father, and chances are good for a happily ever after. Which is all MS girls care about, anyway.

THE GALLERY, by Laura Marx Fitzgerald

The story: When she's kicked out of school, her mother gets Martha a job in the mansion where she works. But no matter how rich, Mr. Sewell and his house are also mysterious. Why does he keep his wife locked up in the attic? Where did her fabulous collection of art go? And why is the brother of a notorious anarchist opening doors for the rich and famous? Martha is determined to get to the bottom of it, but to succeed, she'll have to brush up on mind-reading, plotting, and the art of riding unnoticed in dumbwaiters.

June Cleaver's ratings: Language PG; Violence PG; Sexual content G; Nudity G; Substance abuse PG: Magic & the occult G; GLBT content G; adult themes (fraud and fraudulent schemes) PG; overall rating PG.

Liz's comments: Here's a fun mystery wrapped up in a Roaring 20s historical novel. Martha is a smart, funny narrator, and the book offers young readers an intriguing glimpse into Prohibition and the stock market run-up to the great Depression, as well as a chance to look up some first-rate works of art in Google Images.

THIS IS MY BRAIN ON BOYS, by Sarah Strohmeyer

The story: Addie wants to put together the perfect experiment to nail down her scholarship to Harvard. Messing around with other peoples' brain chemicals in order to trigger a romantic attachment doesn't seem like such a big deal when she comes up with the idea, but when SHE ends up falling for bad boy Kris, all of a sudden it's a VERY big deal. Who knew?

NOT FOR THE BIG BOOK

June Cleaver's ratings: Language PG; Violence PG; Sexual content PG-13; Nudity PG; substance abuse PG; Magic & the occult G; GLBT content PG; adult themes G; overall rating PG-13 (not so much because of content but because of an abundance of scientific talk that's totally over the heads of MS readers).

Liz's comments: Meh. I like a good YA romance as much as the next person, but Addie's character was so stiff, humorless and clueless that I mostly felt bad for the boy who falls for her. (Although why he would makes it more of a mystery than a romance, in my book.) :P

WHEN FRIENDSHIP FOLLOWED ME HOME, by Paul Griffin

The story: Ben Coffin has had a really tough life, but for the first time ever, he's got a best friend who's a girl and another one who's a dog. Can they teach him to trust life, even when it's been throwing its worst at Ben as long as he can remember?

June Cleaver's ratings: Language PG; Violence PG (foster parent hits a kid--maybe PG-13?); Sexual content G; Nudity G; substance abuse PG; Magic & the occult G; adult themes (death of a parent; abandonment, terminal illness, bullying) PG-13; overall rating PG.

Liz's comments: This book will find a home with the kind of tween/teen reader who likes a good cry at the end. Ben is a funny narrator who struggles valiantly with more awful stuff than most people have to put up with in an entire lifetime. Put it in your Difficult Lives section and let those kids have at it!

FALLING OVER SIDEWAYS, by Jordan Sonnenblick

The story: 8th grade--mean girls, dorky boys, friends drifting apart--is bad enough before Claire's dad has a stroke. But the stroke changes everything. Can she make it to high school without losing her friends, her seat in band, her place in dance class, and worst of all--her dad?

June Cleaver's ratings: Language PG; Violence G; Sexual content PG; Nudity G; Substance abuse G; Magic & the occult G; GLBT content G; adult themes (parental illness; social stress) PG; overall rating PG.

Liz's comments: I liked this book all right, just not as much as I've liked Sonnenblick's other books in the past. And strangely, I'm not even sure why. Possibly it's because the "say it like it is" semi-snarky narrator approach seems to work better for me when it's coming from a boy??? (That would be weird, but maybe.) Anyway, definitely hand it to Sonnenblick fans--but this one's girl narrator won't appeal nearly as much to boys as his boy narrators appeal to girls. Sad fact, just saying.

WOLF BY WOLF, by Ryan Graudin

The story: After Hitler and the Germans win World War 2, the resistance goes deeper underground. Ten years later, one of Himmler's successful (but forgotten) science experiments--a shapeshifter--sets out to gain revenge by winning a race and assassinating der Fuhrer. Does Yael have what it takes to beat 19 hardened racers and come out in front?

June Cleaver's ratings: Language PG-13 (swearing in German); Violence R; Sexual content PG; Nudity PG; Substance abuse PG-13; Magic & the occult PG-13; GLBT content G; adult themes (genocide, evil science experiments, political assassination, murder) R; overall rating R (all right for really good 8th grade readers; otherwise best for 9th-up).

Liz's comments: This one had a fascinating concept--what if the Nazis had won the war? The action takes place in 1956, with Yael, a survivor of an evil experiment in a death camp, biding her time until it's right to make her move against Hitler to find revenge for all the people in her life who died because of him. A major twist at the end means you'll have to buy the sequel, "Blood for Blood" to see how the story really ends.

WHEN FRIENDSHIP FOLLOWED ME HOME, by Paul Griffin

The story: Ben Coffin has had a really tough life, but for the first time ever, he's got a best friend who's a girl and another one who's a dog. Can they teach him to trust life, even when it's been throwing its worst at Ben as long as he can remember?

June Cleaver's ratings: Language PG; Violence PG (foster parent hits a kid--maybe PG-13?); Sexual content G; Nudity G; substance abuse PG; Magic & the occult G; adult themes (death of a parent; abandonment, terminal illness, bullying) PG-13; overall rating PG.

Liz's comments: This book will find a home with the kind of tween/teen reader who likes a good cry at the end. Ben is a funny narrator who struggles valiantly with more awful stuff than most people have to put up with in an entire lifetime. Put it in your Difficult Lives section and let those kids have at it!

WARNING: recent School Library Journal recommendations of Adult books for teens are WAY off the mark...

I have long thought that School Library Journal often does a disservice to librarians by not really being honest or forthcoming in its reviews.  One of the reasons we started writing this blog was to give you more information than what the journals typically include.  I was reading this month's SLJ and I almost dropped it when I saw a couple of the recommendations they made of adult books for teens.  I can only write about two of the titles, because I have read them, but neither of them would I recommend for teens.  The others I cannot speak about, but I felt obligated to share what I know to save you from wasting scarce book money.

The Madwoman Upstairs by Catherine Lowell

I loved this enjoyable Jane Eyre fan fiction romp. It is smart and sassy and though it pays homage to the Brontes, it never stoops to the level of worshipping them. A fun protagonist, a wicked sense of humor, what more could you ask for? If you enjoy modern literary writing that does more then nod toward classics, this book is great fun.

June's Rating:  Language PG-13;  Nudity--PG;  Sexual Content--R;  GLBT Content--PG;  Violence--PG;  Substance Abuse--R, Adult Themes--PG-13

Robin's comments:  As you can see, it isn't that I didn't like the book. I really liked it quite a lot.  However, I cannot see it having much appeal for teenagers except for the .5% who actually enjoy Bronte.  Also, there is a somewhat inappropriate relationship between a professor and a student.  It contains WAY  too many literary allusions and assumptions that the reader knows certain things for this to be enjoyable for anything resembling your average teen reader, or your average reader period.  It is definitely a niche book, and not one that I would give to a high school student unless they were extremely unique.

Now for the one that really made me cringe...  

Eligible: a Modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice 

by Curtis Sittenfield

(From my GoodReads review)

Sadly disappointing, this book is just trying to cash in on the popularity of Jane Austen's characters. This supposed to be a modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice, but it fails on all fronts. The main characters, with the possible exception of Fitzwilliam Darcy, and I am not even sure about that, are all unlikeable. Even Jane is aimless and low-achieving. Lizzy has been carrying on an affair with a married man for years. All the Bennett girls are unmarried and over 25--what are the odds? Besides Mary, they are slutty and foul-mouthed. Bingley is portrayed as a near idiot. I only finished reading it so that I could write a review that would prevent anyone from spending any money on this book. Janeites beware!
The premise is that Charles Bingley is a reality television star from a show called Eligible who comes to Cincinatti to work at a hospital, because despite the fact that he is pushing 40, handsome, charming and a doctor, he cannot find love. Unfortunately, he also failed to find it on Eligible and now has to earn his keep as an ER doctor. Darcy is a neurosurgeon working at the same hospital. Jane and Lizzy (40 and 38 respectively) have come to town to help care for their father, who has had a heart attack and ruined the family finances by being lazy and stupid. Kitty and Lydia are twenty-something exercise addicts and Mary is a serial college student, completing degree after degree online. Have I convinced you not to pick it up yet? It is insipid, the characters are broadly drawn caricatures and it is the worst kind of opportunism. There is none of the cleverness, none of the social commentary, none of the sparkling dialogue of a real Jane Austen book.
I wouldn't give this book to my worst enemy.

June's Rating:  Language--X;  Nudity-R;  Sexual Content--X; GLBT Content-R (Lydia marries a transgender Male)  Adult Themes-R

Robin's comments:  I have never given an "X" rating, but I really do not think this book is suitable for teens.  I wouldn't have finished it, except that I wanted to review it and I didn't feel like it would be fair to review it without reading the whole thing, so I slogged through.  Besides the fact that it is unsuitable, it is a terrible book.  Really.